when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
