Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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