He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want a musical about memes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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