the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Still dying that you shit outside
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
