They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
