you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't think brook has ever known best
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
