I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
