oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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