the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
