My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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