I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
