Buhtt sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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