Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
