? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
