fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
