the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
