so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
