You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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