there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
