You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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