sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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