When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
