I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
