from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
