Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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