Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
