I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i dont even know how to be here
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
