i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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