I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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