ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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