Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
