none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
