This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
