Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
