If that was your dad, he is hot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
