Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
