You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
