The maid of honor just puked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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