i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
