Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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