I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
