he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
