Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize