So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
