The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize