apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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