What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
