I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
