I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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