Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
