She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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