i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
