how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
