How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
