i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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