well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
