I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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