Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
