I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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